Breakdown

Have you ever noticed things break down
Together, in a group?
And all of them must be replaced
In what seems one fell swoop.

The vacuum cleaner made a noise
And next thing, it stopped sucking.
My kitchen timer, chicken-shaped,
Then suddenly stopped clucking.

I ordered a new timer
(This one’s shaped just like an egg);
And then I realized that a kitchen chair
Needs a new leg.

The car mechanic noticed
That the brakes were really shot.
The thought occurred to me
That breaking brakes was what I’d got.

The next to go was more expensive
Than we had yet faced;
The washing machine died and yes,
It had to be replaced.

The toaster oven sounds real weird:
You start it and it groans;
And we can’t see Caller ID
‘Til we upgrade our phones.

Our good old Dell computer
Is so slow it’s like it’s broken;
I hope I haven’t jinxed it
By the words that I’ve just spoken.

I wonder what malfunction next
Is waiting in the wings,
Enjoying all the aggravation
Each disaster brings.

The irony’s that replacements,
Although brand-new from the store,
Are never quite the quality
As what you had before.

So they won’t last as many years
As their old counterparts.
I wish at least they’d stagger
All the times when each departs!