In the Kitchen Cabinets

One box was stamped two thousand fifteen;
Another two thousand and five.
If I ate the pasta inside them,
Do you think I would still be alive?

Some crackers found zipped in a baggie
Were stale as a mummy’s last breath.
If I crumbled a few in my chowder,
Would that be the cause of my death?

The ketchup in back of the pantry
Was browner than children’s mud pies.
If I squirted it onto a burger,
Might that cause an early demise?

Since we have relinquished our shopping,
We’re searching our cupboards, no joke,
Discovering items forgotten
Which, if eaten, might cause us to croak!