Newt's Pursuit

You don’t have to be astute
To know the Red team won’t choose Newt.
There are reasons several-fold –
First of all, he just seems old.

Though he may be very smart,
He’s dumb in matters of the heart.
Cheated on a loyal wife –
“Open marriage?” – Get a life!

Now he stands to make a speech
With number 3 wife, like a leech,
Always just an inch away,
With her hair held down by spray.

Newt, I hate to tell you, mistah,
Next first mate won’t be Callista!