Certified Pre-Owned

Attention, all you gents and ladies:
Hurry - here’s your chance
To get your very own Mercedes;
See how it enchants!

Take a look – it’s sleek, not bruised;
Its body we have honed.
Who told you that this car was used?
It’s certified pre-owned!

Of course those terms are not the same!
They’re mutually exclusive.
Being “used” connotes some shame,
While “pre-owned” is elusive.

I guess it means it was possessed
By someone very rich
Who, though he really liked it best,
Was forced to make a switch.

So here it is, for you to buy.
You’ll join the true elite;
And that is why the price is high –
Our salesmen are discreet.

You’ll feel so special when you drive
This car that’s almost new.
The envious will all contrive
To be as cool as you!