Crumpet

I tasted my very first crumpet today;
They serve them in England with tea.
I thought it was really quite awful and yet,
I’m sure many Brits would disagree.

I toasted it lightly, expecting a crunch,
But it still remained soggy and bland.
Even adding preserves didn’t help it improve;
I had no more tricks at my command.

It tasted like it was a mongrel-like cross
Of a pancake and bad English muffin;
With a negative sweetness I didn’t expect,
One small bite and my mouth said, “Enough in!”

Oh, give me a bagel, bialy, or toast.
Of British treats, I like a scone;
But when breakfast or tea is next offered to me,
I hope I’m in a crumpet-free zone!