Modern

I bought some pumpkin in a can
To make a pumpkin bread.
In days of old, I would have used
A pumpkin, whole, instead.

I wouldn’t have been happy
Scooping out that pumpkin gunk.
Just dealing with that mess
Would sure have put me in a funk.

Machines have done the job for me
And so I’ve caught a break,
A little shortcut but I still
Can brag that I did bake.

I’m grateful for this modern age –
It helps, without a doubt;
But I could take it one step further
And just order out!

Under the Ginkgo Tree

My husband parked our car beside
A ginkgo in the city.
The street was littered with its leaves,
So yellow and so pretty.

The female ginkgo also sheds
Some nuts with such a smell,
Just step on one and suddenly,
You won’t feel very well.

That night there was both wind and rain
And pods came pelting down.
Our silver Subaru now wore
A coat of yellow-brown.

It looked like Nature chose our car
And gleefully did bomb it;
To top it off, it reeked and smelled
Remarkably like vomit.

The lesson to be learned is this:
When parking near a ginkgo,
Determine if it’s male or else
Your car will be fa-shtinko!*

*a fake Yiddish word – means what it sounds like!

Fifty Years

A pillbox hat, a suit of pink,
The blood and all the tears;
That small salute, so solemn –
Is it really fifty years?

A swearing-in, a widow’s face
Behind a netted veil;
The coffin in a hearse and then
The bugle’s lonely wail.

The anniversary today
Demands that we take note
Of innocence and what was lost
In times that seem remote.

Biblical

A California Costco
Labelled all its Bibles fake;
In other words, as fiction –
Then recanted their mistake.

A pastor who was shopping
Tweeted photos to his flock
And when they saw the “fiction” label,
Many were in shock.

The proper tag – religion?
Seems the answer to the question,
But if you have a thought, well,
Costco’d welcome the suggestion.

Elizabethan

Linen ruffs and lacy cuffs
And farthingales and tassels;
Petticoats and hose and cloaks
Like those once worn in castles.

Fastenings of hooks and eyes
And buttons, strings and laces
Used instead of zippers to
Keep closed important places.

Milliners and stocking knitters,
Shoemakers and such
Pushed for authenticity
In looks and wear and touch.

Seeing Shakespeare on the stage
The way that he intended
Must have had a top-notch team
Who cut and sewed and mended.

“Twelfe Night” was magnificent.
The all-male cast impressed;
But kudos, too, to all the folk
Who got those actors dressed!

World Toilet Day

Today’s been named World Toilet Day
So we should be aware
That lots of people have no place
To plop their derriere.

If you have ever traveled to
A site where you must squat
Above a deep hole in the ground –
You’d wish that you had not!

It’s sad for those in poverty
Who do not yearn for plush,
But would be thrilled if they, like us,
Had access to a flush.

Frozen

JFK will always be
The way that we remember,
Never getting older than
That long-ago November.

In our minds we see him with
That shock of ginger hair;
There never was the chance
For any gray to nestle there.

He had no time to stoop or sag
Or sport those old-age spots.
When women see his picture,
Quite a few still get the hots.

When someone’s life is cut so short,
His face, to us, is frozen,
Most probably in just the way
He might himself have chosen.

So when we think of JFK,
His smiling image sticks.
Though fifty years have come and gone,
He’s still just forty-six.