Greasing the Poles

The Eagles accomplished their goal
To play in this year’s Super Bowl.
Their fans are all thrilled
That they have fulfilled
For Philly, a huge starring role.

For if they are the Super Bowl champs,
Then revelers won’t allow cramps
To their partying ways
Though in past winning days
The authorities dealt with some scamps.

To prevent this, they’re using some grease
On the light poles, so this will decrease
People climbing up high
To toss things and defy
Orders shouted at them by the police.

I just read that it’s Crisco* they use,
A fact that to some will amuse.
For if they had used lard
Certain rogues would be barred –
Now the hooligans, too, can be Jews!

*a type of shortening that is kosher, which
can be used for cooking by observant Jews