The Academy Awards

Perhaps it’s simply getting old
Or else I’m feeling jaded,
But somehow the allure of Oscar night
To me has faded.

Of course I watched it anyhow
As they gave each award,
But somewhere in the middle, I thought,
Hey – I’m really bored!

The gowns were elegant and sleek;
The jewelry was lush.
All Hollywood was on display;
It’s fun to gawk and gush.

But all was so predictable –
The winners and the speeches.
Decorum ruled with just one curse –
The tiniest of breaches.

The hosts were young, in hopes I guess,
Of luring younger viewers;
But I’d be quite surprised if youth
Were not among pooh-poohers.

I stayed up ‘til the end, despite
The way I seem to sneer;
And though I criticize, I’m sure
I’ll watch again next year.

Maybe Spring

Temps are in the fifties;
Crocuses poke through.
Baseball teams are playing;
Spring is making its debut.

Although it’s kind of early
And it just may be a tease,
Winter coats are being shed
In varying degrees.

Some stay in the closet,
Switched with denim or with suede;
Others get unzipped, the date
Too early to persuade.

But whether spring is really here
Or this is just a taste,
It’s wonderful to soak it up
Before it goes to waste.

A Matter of Taste

Some like Pepsi, some like Coke;
Who knows which is best?
Colgate works for many folks –
But for me, it’s Crest.

Loyal drivers stick to Fords,
Toyotas, Subarus,
Kias, Hondas, Chevy vans –
It’s strange how people choose.

Burger King or Mickey D’s?
Add Wendy’s to the mix;
Fast food places leave me cold,
But people love their picks.

T-Mobile or Verizon?
Or perhaps AT & T?
I-Phone? Droid or BlackBerry?
Which one is right for me?

Most everything in life these days
Requires a decision;
And just to prove my choice is right,
I’ll view yours with derision.

Unless, of course, they’re both the same;
In that case, we agree
That we are more discerning than
The vast majority.

Though taste is very personal,
Most people truly feel
That all their choices, more than yours,
Conform to the ideal.

Tenure

I was a working tenured teacher
Most of my career.
Now tenure’s on the chopping block;
The union’s made that clear.

Of course, some teachers aren’t good
And some don’t even try,
Yet getting rid of tenured ones
Is wrong, and this is why:

City workers all deserve
Some kind of guarantee
That competence at what they do
Will grant security.

It cannot happen overnight –
The newcomers must wait.
It may take several years to prove
They really are first-rate.

And only then will they have earned
The right to there remain,
Protected by the power
That their contract lets them gain.

If layoffs have to happen,
Newer teachers have to go.
A principal can’t give
The higher-paid ones the heave-ho.

A teacher who’s incompetent
Should not have been allowed,
By weak administrators,
To blend with the tenure crowd.

For those who slipped on through,
Give them encouragement and aid.
Don’t change the rules and let them feel
That they have been betrayed.

If future tenure is in doubt,
New teachers can prepare;
But bouncing those within its shelter
Really is unfair.

P.S. I miss the way things were
When I was newly hired.
The more I read the more I am
So glad to be retired!

A Minute

You eat, you drink, you sleep, you poop
And then it’s time to fly the coop.
Life is over in a minute;
The world goes on, without you in it.

Thus, before you do depart,
Milk every moment from your heart.
No need to pay a finder’s fee
Or labor on your legacy.

Just focus on the here and now –
It’s all you can do, anyhow.
Today you’re here, enjoy its spark –
Tomorrow is a question mark.

Liquidation

There’s something sad about a sale
Because a store is closing.
The shoppers look like hunting dogs
Whose prey they’re bent on nosing.

People pick up bargains
That they may not really need.
Discount prices lure folks in –
There’s almost a stampede.

It’s psychological, the way
The mind acts when enticed:
It gives one the okay to purchase
Items overpriced.

As long as what’s procured is less
Than what you’d likely pay;
It’s just too good a deal so you
Can’t let it slip away.

And as you leave the store, you know
You’ve spent more than you should’ve
By buying things, without a sale,
You never ever would’ve.

A closing store makes me feel glum –
That’s part of my lament;
I’m sorry for the store and for
The money I just spent!

Beyond the Pale

When you live in the city,
There are many, many joys;
But as apartment dwellers,
You are subject to some noise.

If you live on an avenue,
You hear the buses pass;
And car alarms and sirens
Spew eruptions to harass.

I live next to the garbage chute,
So often I hear banging;
And steam inside the pipes creates
A symphony of clanging.

Today, though, there was something new –
A constant chirping beep.
It’s been non-stop and I suspect
Tonight I will not sleep.

Perhaps a neighbor set her clock
And left before it rang;
Or else the smoke detector
Chose this moment to harangue.

Whatever is the culprit,
My complaining is in vain.
The only thing I’m sure of
Is it’s driving me insane!