A Non-Halloween Poem

A poem describing Halloween
Is what you might expect,
Impressions of the holiday
On which I did reflect.

Yet here is where I let you down
And you may think it rude,
But somehow, with no reason why,
I’m just not in the mood.

So if you want to read a rhyme
Of skeletons and such,
You’ll have to find another source;
Do I feel bad? Not much.

It’s good from time to time
When expectations don’t come through.
It’s true to life, but just in case,
I’ll end this with a BOO!

Lava Lamp

My daughter has a lava lamp,
Once given as a gift,
A retro item that, when plugged,
Can give your mood a lift.

The lava lamp was such a fad
That we’d be shocked to know
That future generations

Would find cool that blobby glow.

Its groovy factor didn’t last
But it was guaranteed
To mesmerize a visitor

Who’d smoked a little weed.

Of course, the folks who buy it now

Most likely have no clue

That being in an altered state

Improves that lava view.

Driving in the Rain

Driving in the rain’s a pain.
A normal speed you can’t maintain.
The droplets cause your eyes to strain
And there’s a lot of tension.

In your lane you must remain
Since it is hard to ascertain
If someone else might hydroplane
(Though never his intention).

In rain terrain you can’t complain
For water’s needed to sustain
The plants and trees which, in the main,
Don’t need our intervention.

Yet there’s no gain to just refrain
From stating what is very plain –
Driving in the rain’s a pain.
(I’m brooking no dissension!)

Remote

TV’s didn’t have remotes
Way back when I was young
And though the praises of
All “modern” items have been sung…

It really wasn’t such a chore
To get up off our butts
To change a channel, but before
You laugh and call me nuts…

You have to understand that there
Were 7 stations, max.
I guess we had the quality
Today’s indulgence lacks.

So switching shows was much more rare

And it was no big deal.
A couch potato’s way of life,
To most, would not appeal.

Since there was less obesity,
A theory I could float
Is blaming this on exercise
We’ve lost with the remote!

Counting Time

A year has months;
A month has weeks.
A week has days
Which brook no tweaks.

The days divide
By hours, neatly;
Hours, minutes.
Then, as fleetly,

Seconds tick
As time flies by.
We cannot pause it,
Though we try.

Curses!

I read of a study
That people who curse
Are much smarter than others
And not the reverse!

For cursers, when measured,
Have higher IQ's,
With bigger vocabs
For the words that they choose.

The researchers might
Have been shocked, just a bit,
While the clean mouths thought
(But didn’t say), “F*** that s***!”

Ode to my Eraser

Oh, trusty eraser,
You error replacer,
I thank you for clearing the way,
Preventing disgrace
When I cannot embrace
Words I’ve chosen which do not hold sway.

Just one swipe of your being
Gives way to me seeing
A blank where a blunder has been
So I’m once again free
To discover the key
Which will help me again to begin.

On computers, “delete”
Is a method discreet
To remove words that don’t make the grade
But eraser, you meet
All my needs as you greet
What my pencil has wrongly displayed.